Um dia desses, eu estava conduzindo um workshop de negócios sobre estresse, juntamente com um de meus colegas da Millennium. Havia cerca de vinte e cinco pessoas na sala; perguntamos por que as pessoas ficam tão estressadas em certas situações, como falar em público ou falar inglês com um nativo (um medo comum entre brasileiros).
Obtivemos as respostas costumeiras à nossa pergunta: medo de cometer erros, trauma de infância, timidez. Então, contei a elas uma conversa que tive com Dr. Norberto Keppe sobre medo de falar em público ou fazer apresentações. "Qualquer atitude de dúvida ou desconfiança, qualquer nervosismo ou medo", disse ele, "representa uma oposição às próprias habilidades e talentos de cada um."
Assim, há muito mais coisas por trás dessa atitude do que geralmente se pensa.
Quando temos medo de falar em público (ou falar uma língua estrangeira) o que está por baixo da superfície é uma atitude mais profunda que não percebemos. Esta é a conclusão inevitável a que chega a ciência da psicopatologia, iniciada por Freud e completada por Norberto Keppe – realmente temos atitudes contra nosso próprio desenvolvimento. Essa situação precisa ser entendida se quisermos nos desenvolver na vida.
Vou dar um exemplo. Suponhamos que você tenha de fazer uma apresentação a semana que vem. Ao tentar preparar sua apresentação, você acaba não deixando tempo para isso. Adia o quanto pode e busca um milhão de outras coisas para fazer. Olha seus emails a cada cinco minutos, joga solitário 100 vezes em seu computador, e de repente acha que é a hora perfeita para organizar seus arquivos de 1992 – os mesmos arquivos que você não usa desde … (adivinhou) … 1992!
Você protela, protela, mas finalmente consegue terminar sua apresentação em PowerPoint, depois de uma maratona a noite inteira na véspera. No dia seguinte, quando você se levanta para falar, se vê pensando de forma desconexa e incoerente ou esquecendo coisas importantes que queria dizer. Sente-se confuso e desconcentrado, muito diferente daquele apresentador eficiente que gostaria de ser.
E então tira a conclusão inevitável: "Detesto falar em público!" E declara isso a quem quer que queira ouvir. "Estou com muito medo." E toda vez que surgir uma outra oportunidade de falar em público, você começa a suar e perde o sono – e faz o que pode para evitar a oportunidade.
Porém, aqui você cometeu em engano clássico, culpando a causa errada do seu problema. Falar em público não é a causa do problema; falar em público é simplesmente um grande espelho. O que a apresentação em público traz é muita consciência: você não é tão organizado como pensa, tem o hábito de adiar o que é importante em sua vida e tem dificuldade de expressar suas ideias de forma clara e concisa.
Essas atitudes existem independentemente da situação, e você nunca conseguirá resolvê-las se não examinar esse aspecto mais profundo. E o que é importante nessa discussão é que as dificuldades podem aparecer em outras áreas de nossas vidas também, e geralmente aparecem mesmo – como aceitar promoções ou novas responsabilidades, fazer entrevistas para emprego, falar uma língua estrangeira.
Para superar isso e progredir em nossas vidas, temos de lidar com as atitudes contraprodutivas subjacentes que nos levam a protelar e adiar. Isso é algo que ocorre em nossa relação com o mundo e é encarando esses demônios internos que alcançamos sucesso.
Essa é uma sabedoria que provém da ciência da Trilogia Analítica, que aplicamos todo dia em sala de aula aqui na
Millennium, e pode fazer uma incrível diferença no aprendizado de uma língua e melhoria de muitas áreas de sua vida.
Monday, July 16, 2012
Thursday, July 12, 2012
Going Beyond Fear - English version
I was leading a business workshop on stress the other day with one of my colleagues from Millennium. There were about 25 people in the room and we were asking them why people become so stressed in situations like public speaking or speaking English with a native speaker (a common fear for Brazilians).
We got the normal responses to our question: fear of making mistakes, trauma from childhood, shyness. But then I told them about a conversation I’d had with Dr. Norberto Keppe about fear of speaking or presenting. "Any attitude of doubt or mistrust, any nervousness or fear," he said, "Represents opposition to your own gifts and talents."
So there is much more going on here that what we have all thought.
When we’re afraid of speaking in public (or in a second language) what’s going on below the surface is a deeper attitude that we don’t notice. This is the inevitable conclusion drawn from the science of psychopathology started by Freud and completed by Norberto Keppe – we actually have attitudes against our own development. This situation must be understood if we’re to move forward in our lives.
Let me use an example. Let’s say you have a public speaking presentation to give next week. In starting your preparation, you notice that it’s suddenly very difficult to find the time. You’re procrastinating like crazy and finding a million other things to do. You check your email every 5 minutes, you play 100 games of solitaire on the computer, it suddenly seems the perfect time to organize your files from 1992 – the same files you haven’t looked at since …you guessed it … 1992!
You stall and stall, but finally, in an all-night marathon of preparation the night before, you manage to finish your PowerPoint presentation. The next day, when you stand up to give your talk, you find yourself rambling incoherently or forgetting important things you wanted to say. You’re unclear and unfocused, far from the effective presenter you would like to be.
And you make the inevitable conclusion: "I hate public speaking!" You state this for anyone who’ll listen. "I’m too afraid." And every time another opportunity to speak in public presents itself, you break out in sweats and lose sleep – and work very hard to avoid the opportunity.
But you’ve made a classic mistake here by blaming the wrong thing for your problem. Public speaking is not the culprit; it’s simply a giant mirror. What the public speaking deadline brings is a lot of consciousness: you’re not as organized as think you are, you have a habit of procrastinating with the important stuff in your life, you have difficulties expressing your ideas clearly and concisely.
These are attitudes that exist irrespective of the situation, and you’ll never be able to resolve them if you don’t see this deeper aspect. And what’s important for this discussion is that these difficulties can, and usually do, show up in other areas of our lives as well – like accepting promotions or new responsibilities, going to job interviews, speaking a second language.
To really move past this and progress in our lives, we have to deal with the underlying counter-productive attitudes that lead us to procrastinate and delay. This is something that relates to our relationships with the world, and it’s through addressing these inner demons that we achieve success.
This is the wisdom that comes from the science of Analytical Trilogy that we use every day in the classroom here at Millennium, and it can make an incredible difference to your learning of a language and improving in many areas of your life.
We got the normal responses to our question: fear of making mistakes, trauma from childhood, shyness. But then I told them about a conversation I’d had with Dr. Norberto Keppe about fear of speaking or presenting. "Any attitude of doubt or mistrust, any nervousness or fear," he said, "Represents opposition to your own gifts and talents."
So there is much more going on here that what we have all thought.
When we’re afraid of speaking in public (or in a second language) what’s going on below the surface is a deeper attitude that we don’t notice. This is the inevitable conclusion drawn from the science of psychopathology started by Freud and completed by Norberto Keppe – we actually have attitudes against our own development. This situation must be understood if we’re to move forward in our lives.
Let me use an example. Let’s say you have a public speaking presentation to give next week. In starting your preparation, you notice that it’s suddenly very difficult to find the time. You’re procrastinating like crazy and finding a million other things to do. You check your email every 5 minutes, you play 100 games of solitaire on the computer, it suddenly seems the perfect time to organize your files from 1992 – the same files you haven’t looked at since …you guessed it … 1992!
You stall and stall, but finally, in an all-night marathon of preparation the night before, you manage to finish your PowerPoint presentation. The next day, when you stand up to give your talk, you find yourself rambling incoherently or forgetting important things you wanted to say. You’re unclear and unfocused, far from the effective presenter you would like to be.
And you make the inevitable conclusion: "I hate public speaking!" You state this for anyone who’ll listen. "I’m too afraid." And every time another opportunity to speak in public presents itself, you break out in sweats and lose sleep – and work very hard to avoid the opportunity.
But you’ve made a classic mistake here by blaming the wrong thing for your problem. Public speaking is not the culprit; it’s simply a giant mirror. What the public speaking deadline brings is a lot of consciousness: you’re not as organized as think you are, you have a habit of procrastinating with the important stuff in your life, you have difficulties expressing your ideas clearly and concisely.
These are attitudes that exist irrespective of the situation, and you’ll never be able to resolve them if you don’t see this deeper aspect. And what’s important for this discussion is that these difficulties can, and usually do, show up in other areas of our lives as well – like accepting promotions or new responsibilities, going to job interviews, speaking a second language.
To really move past this and progress in our lives, we have to deal with the underlying counter-productive attitudes that lead us to procrastinate and delay. This is something that relates to our relationships with the world, and it’s through addressing these inner demons that we achieve success.
This is the wisdom that comes from the science of Analytical Trilogy that we use every day in the classroom here at Millennium, and it can make an incredible difference to your learning of a language and improving in many areas of your life.
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